A topic on our mailing list came up and I thought it was a good idea to clear up a few rules to whitelining in the Tri-State area... so here are a few pearls of wisdom.

I've noticed that the drivers in Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan and Staten Island are the best about lane splitters. They actually move over a little so you can pass more easily. These are people I always give a beep-beep or a nod to... they are probably bikers who, while still jealous that you're moving faster than them, at least are aware that they're idiots for being in a cage instead of on a bike.

Lane splitting is the most fun at 100+ mph on very narrow roads (i.e., the Belt). It's especially good to do while riding on one wheel. If you can't ride 100 mph wheelies, looking around the tank while splitting between cars with only a few inches of clearance, make sure you have a few friends that can. It's most spectacular to watch.

I'm sure these rules will help you while lane splitting or trying to be more squid like. These rules work best while your helmet is being worn on your elbow. This way the thing isn't hindering you from A) cursing at the jagoffs that won't move out of your way or B) flirting with passengers in cars as you pass.

Rule #1

Never lane split in an area where the cops don't have enough to do (i.e., Jersey).

Exception to Rule #1.

It's ok to lane split in any area as long as there are enough of you, because out of a pack of 10, they're most likely only going to catch 1 or 2 of you. Just be faster than your pals.

Rule #2

If a car purposely moves over into the lane attempting to hinder you from white lining between him and the other car. Smash his tail lights. Rev your motor. And start doing a burnout, when they see the smoke coming from your rear tire, they'll move.

Exceptions to Rule #2.

• Unless it's a cop car
• Unless you're not wearing steel-toed boots
• Unless you're on a road without many exits.

Rule #3

Always lane split, never ride on the shoulder. Cops HATE that. The shoulder is their own little private area for them to drive on and they get upset if anyone else does it. (jealous bastards)

Exceptions to Rule #3

• Unless you're on an exit ramp, then who's going to know.
• Unless, god forbid, someone got in front of you and you're not talented enough to lane split.

Rule #4

Rev up! The sound of your pipe echoing off the other cars as you pass them will probably only be heard by the cars you just passed, but Who Cares! You look cool and you at least sound good to yourself and any of your other squid friends splitting behind you.

Exception to Rule #4

• Unless you don't want to be noticed.
• Unless you're passing a cop car.

Rule #5

Never ever lane split near a toll plaza. Other cars will complain that you get to pay your money faster than them (heaven forbid). Toll plaza people have little better to do than to hold you there while some cop writes you a ticket. Cops always hide at toll plazas.

Exception to Rule #5

Lane splitting through a toll plaza is fine if you're planning on blowing the toll. However, make sure your bike is not pink, that your license plate is not yours and your leathers don't have your name on them.

Rule #6

When riding in a pack of 10 or more, throw all vehicular laws out the window, as they only apply to cars. You should lane split to get to the front of every intersection. Once the entire crew gets to the line, get into drag racing stance. If the light doesn't turn green within a few seconds, it's ok. Red lights are now optional... if enough of you are revving your engines, you can go. This is similar to the theory that it's ok to blow a light that recently turned if you honk first. Anyway, when all of you are ready to go through the intersection, if the light isn't turning green, just go through it anyway. Preferably someone should lead the pack while doing A) a rolling burnout or B) a 12 o'clock wheelie.

Exception to Rule #6

• Unless there are more cops around than bikes.
• Unless you don't know the area.

Dianna - Law Abiding Safe Rider

PS Lane splitting is illegal in most states and dangerous in all of them. Your actions are your own - don't let me put any ideas in to your head.

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